We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

We know the speaker has received adequate empathy when a. we sense a release of tension, or b. the flow of words comes to a halt.

If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.

When you ride the wave, the thrill is so exhilarating that you forget everything else. You live in the moment where nothing else matters, so intent on riding the wave perfectly that you and the wave become one. Pain and worry disappear, replaced by euphoria, akin to flow. Similarly, when giving empathy, you want to strive for this kind of total presence for the person you are listening to.

Be very slow to go into looking for solutions.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.