A difficult message to hear is an opportunity to enrich someone's life.

Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being with that energy. When I connect with what's alive in another person, I have feelings similar to when I'm surfing.

NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

We need to receive empathy to give empathy.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves. As author and mythologist Joseph Campbell suggested, "'What will they think of me?' must be put aside for bliss." We begin to feel this bliss when messages previously experienced as critical or blaming begin to be seen for the gifts they are: opportunities to give to people who are in pain.

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.