If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.

If you think ahead to what to say next - like how to fix it or make the person feel better - BOOM! Off the board. You're into the future. Empathy requires staying with the energy that's here right now. Not using any technique. Just being present. When I have really connected to this energy, it's like I wasn't there. I call this "watching the magic show". In this presence, a very precious energy works through us that can heal anything, and this relieves me from my "fix-it" tendencies.

Depression is the reward we get for being 'good'.

Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.

Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.

What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

The cause of anger lies in our thinking - in thoughts of blame and judgment.