When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

When we fear punishment, we focus on consequences, not on our own values.

How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.

We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.

Needs are never conflicting. When we say that, we are only saying that at the moment we aren't seeing how both needs can be met. That leaves an opening. When you think in the way I'm suggesting, you'll often find a way to get most needs met simultaneously.

Thinking based on who deserves what blocks compassionate communication.