Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.

When we are depressed, our thinking blocks us from being aware of our needs, and then being able to take action to meet our needs.

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests. Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood. We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.

Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.