When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

At the root of every tantrum and power struggle are unmet needs.

Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.

Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.

NVC is language, thoughts, communication skills and means of influence that serve my desire to do three things: 1) to liberate myself from cultural learning that is in conflict with how I want to live my life. 2) to empower myself to connect with myself and others in a way that makes compassionate giving natural. 3) to empower myself to create structures that support compassionate giving.

We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.

Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.