When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.

All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.

The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.

We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.

The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.