While we may not consider the way we talk to be 'violent,' our words often lead to hurt and pain, whether for others or for ourselves.

Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.

Use the words "I feel because I" to remind us that what we feel it isn't because of what the other person did, but because of a choice I've made.

When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.

How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.

Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.

If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.