People reach a point of readiness for change when they reach their own personal bottom.
You must recognize that we train the people in our lives how to treat us.
Do exactly the opposite of what the sheep are doing in order to become the Shepherd.
The mind, like any muscle, must be exercised.
Ask 'What' and 'When.' The 'How' will naturally be revealed.
You make the choice for change more easily and readily each time as your conscious mind begins to reprogram your subconscious mind with a new habit, and the decision is reinforced by that positive change.