I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.
You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.
Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.
I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.