I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

Money can't buy poverty.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

Could be worse... Could be raining