Marty Feldman Quotes

You offer a sincere compliment on a great mustache and suddenly she's not your friend.

Too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

Money can't buy poverty.

He made us laugh, he took my pain away. I love you, Lauretta.

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

Could be worse... Could be raining

Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians.

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all relative. There are no rules.

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.