I'm rubber and you're glue," I told Satan, " and everything that bounces of me sticks to you.

All writers are crazy. So never mind what the editors and your family and your critique group tells you. Submit your manuscripts and keep submitting until you get an offer. Then you can be crazy, with a paycheck.

There's more than one way for a girl to Google a cat.

She couldn't tell where his pupils ended and the irises began; looking into those eyes was like looking into a well where children had drowned.

Can you burn me up with holy water? Poke me to death with your crucifix? Pelt me with communion wafers?

He said my name the way diabetics talked about hot fudge sundaes.

Majesty, I beg your forgiveness for the idignity you suffered and offer you the head of our enemy as—" "Put that thing down," I said impatiently. "I can't talk to you when you're shaking his head like a damned maraca.