Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Ned, have you considered any of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.