I judge my life by how miserable it used to be. If I could pay my rent, I was deliriously happy. Now I'm deliriously happy all the time.

I think people who work in comedy and humor are hesitant to analyze it too much, because you feel like if you take it apart, you'll break it and not be able to put it back together again.

The thing about a cartoon is, you can do whatever you want. The tightrope that we are walking on 'The Simpsons' and 'Futurama' is "How do you continue to surprise the audience, but make them good surprises?" Not every surprise is good, but you want to continue jolting people.

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.

My standard comment is, If you don't want your kids to be like Bart Simpson, don't act like Homer Simpson.

I don't have to be careful, I've got a gun.

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.