Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon." Lisa Simpson

I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaming.

How can I be expected to love someone who tries such crude manipulations as bringing me breakfast in bed?

I personally like the idea of newspapers. It's a good format. You can read it in whatever order you want. You can glance at it. There is something about a single screen and scrolling through pages that just doesn't have the same appeal.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.' Homer Simpson

You know, the courts may not be working any more, but as long as everyone is videotaping everyone else, justice will be done.