Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun.
Matt GroeningCartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career.
Matt GroeningI'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
Matt GroeningThe next time you are contemplating a decision in which you are debating whether or not to go for the gusto, ask yourself this important question: "How long am I going to be dead?" With that perspective, you can now make a free, fearless choice to do just about any goddamned sneaky thing your devious little mind can think up. Go ahead. Have your fun. You're welcome. Go on. See you in hell.
Matt Groening