If at first you don't succeed - give it up. It isn't worth the pain.

Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nothing to be particularly proud of, either.

Welcome to Suckersville, man.

If I have one technology tip of the day, it's this: No matter how good the video on YouTube is, don't read the comments, just don't, because it will make you hate all humans.

I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.

I believe that children are our future. Unless we stop them now.

You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.