One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor.

I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I will do it again.

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

You've got to embrace the future. You can whine about it, but you've got to embrace it.

One of the great things about the Internet is that you can read what everybody has to say about everything. It is fascinating to me, the critiques about humor by people who have no sense of humor.

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

If people only knew how much I secretly hated them, they'd love me for holding it in.