Don't have a cow, man.

Part of the fun of being alive is knowing that you're annoying the hell out of someone else.

I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

Because good writing in a TV cartoon is so rare, I think the animation on The Simpsons is often overlooked.

Humor does depend on surprise, and the things that people remember as the funniest things in the world, you look at later and you go, "What? What was that all about?"

When will people learn? Democracy doesn't work!" (Homer Simpson)

But we all had an agreement to let each other get away with everything! That's Capitalism!