I like a decent funeral, and God knows in my family we've seen enough of them. Looking through family photographs now is like watching an episode of 'Dad's Army.

I've spent so much of my adult life in relationships that it's actually quite pleasant to be alone at last. I turned thirty-six the other day, which staggers me when I think about it.

We must remember to enjoy ourselves.

I want truth. I'm crying out to hear it. I need it like oxygen.

Seven thirty in the morning is too early for a man of my standing.

I can't abide small talk.

I once knew a girl who didn't know where anywhere was in the world. Not a clue. I asked her if she knew where Africa was and she answered, 'Is it the orange one on a map?'