I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.

What does a Californian make for dinner? Reservations.

I've discovered over the years that if my hair is all right, then generally speaking, so am I.

A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.

You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.

Chutzpah' is best defined as a small boy peeing through someone's letter box, then ringing the doorbell to ask how far it went.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.