Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.
I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.
My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.
What does a Californian make for dinner? Reservations.
Jewish Alzheimer's is forgetting everything except a grudge.
A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.