Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.

As for blondes having more fun, well, let me dispel that rumor forever. They do.

A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.

Jewish Alzheimer's is forgetting everything except a grudge.

Did you ever meet a mother that complained that her child phoned her too often? Me neither.

Acting requires absorption, but not self-absorption and, in the actor's mind, the question must always be 'Why am I doing this?,' not 'How am I doing it?

Chutzpah' is best defined as a small boy peeing through someone's letter box, then ringing the doorbell to ask how far it went.