I've discovered over the years that if my hair is all right, then generally speaking, so am I.

I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.

You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.

Did you ever meet a mother that complained that her child phoned her too often? Me neither.

As for blondes having more fun, well, let me dispel that rumor forever. They do.

A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.

My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.