As for blondes having more fun, well, let me dispel that rumor forever. They do.
I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.
What does a Californian make for dinner? Reservations.
Did you ever meet a mother that complained that her child phoned her too often? Me neither.
My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.
You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.