I've discovered over the years that if my hair is all right, then generally speaking, so am I.

As for blondes having more fun, well, let me dispel that rumor forever. They do.

My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.

What does a Californian make for dinner? Reservations.

Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.

Jewish Alzheimer's is forgetting everything except a grudge.

A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.