You know the worst thing about oral sex ? The view.
I suppose the nearest equivalent to a bar mitzvah in terms of emotional build-up would probably not even be one's wedding day, but one's coronation.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then get up. This is no time for sloth.
Jewish Alzheimer's is forgetting everything except a grudge.
My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.
Chutzpah' is best defined as a small boy peeing through someone's letter box, then ringing the doorbell to ask how far it went.