Did you ever meet a mother that complained that her child phoned her too often? Me neither.

A tortoise is, I suppose, a Jewish pet. It knows its place. Out on the lawn. It doesn't bark. It doesn't tear the Dralon.

My idea of a good work-out is two hours spent worrying about the bags under my eyes.

What does a Californian make for dinner? Reservations.

Acting requires absorption, but not self-absorption and, in the actor's mind, the question must always be 'Why am I doing this?,' not 'How am I doing it?

Jewish Alzheimer's is forgetting everything except a grudge.

I've discovered over the years that if my hair is all right, then generally speaking, so am I.