If Ivan the Terrible had been kissed and loved between zero and three, he probably would have become Ivan Not So Terrible. If you're Jewish, you have a small smile on your face. Because you know the rest are wrong and you don't want to hurt their feelings.

I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.

If you're alive, make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death.

I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances.

Directing is a terrible, anxious process. It's all collaboration, and if you have a dream, it's diluted very quickly by the slightest ineptness in any of your collaborators. They're supposed to help you, but too often they help you into your grave.

I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.

Some critics are emotionally desiccated, personally about as attractive as a year-old peach in a single girl's refrigerator.