University is the best couple of years of your life. Nowhere else can you drink and chase as many birds.

Do we carry rich people on our flights? Yes, I flew on one this morning and I'm very rich.

The chattering bloody classes, or what I call the liberal Guardian readers, they're all buying SUVs to drive around London. I smile at these loons who drive their SUVs down to Sainsbury's and buy kiwi fruit, flown in from New Zealand for Christ sakes. They're the equivalent of environmental nuclear bombs!

We should try to eliminate things that unnecessarily piss people off.

I'm disrespectful towards authority. I think the prime minister of Ireland is a gobshite.

The unions need to be taken on. British Airways is massively over-staffed and has got to get its costs down. . . . The problem for [chief executive] Willie Walsh is that the board of BA has no spine, no balls and no vision.

Why does every plane have two pilots? Really, you only need one pilot. Let's take out the second pilot. Let the bloody computer fly it.