Ryanair's biggest achievement? Bringing low fares to Europe and still lowering em. Biggest failure? Hiring me.

Anyone who thinks Ryanair flights are some sort of bastion of sanctity where you can contemplate your navel is wrong. We already bombard you with as many in-flight announcements and trolleys as we can.

University is the best couple of years of your life. Nowhere else can you drink and chase as many birds.

We want to annoy the whenever we can. The best thing we can do with environmentalists is shoot them.

It's a great incentive to work long hours. I limit the holiday to two weeks and then get the hell back to the office. If I had my choice I wouldn't take holidays but my wife insists on time with the kids. That's enough. Prior to getting married I never took a holiday.

Why does every plane have two pilots? Really, you only need one pilot. Let's take out the second pilot. Let the bloody computer fly it.

The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are.