Ryanair brings lots of different cultures to the beaches of Spain, Greece and Italy, where they couple and copulate in the interests of pan-European peace.

If drink sales are falling off, we get the pilots to engineer a bit of turbulence. That usually spikes sales.

I'm here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they're presently making love in the gentleman's toilets, such is their excitement at today's results.

Get back to work you slacker or you're fired.

The airline business is it is mostly run by a bunch of spineless nincompoops who actually don't want to stand up to the environmentalists and call them the lying wankers that they are.

‎‎‎‎Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity.

The French have never produced a great philosopher. Great wine maybe, but no great philosophers.