Ryanair brings lots of different cultures to the beaches of Spain, Greece and Italy, where they couple and copulate in the interests of pan-European peace.

University is the best couple of years of your life. Nowhere else can you drink and chase as many birds.

She's coming here with Aer Lingus.

All flights are fuelled with Leprechaun wee and my bullshit!

Why does every plane have two pilots? Really, you only need one pilot. Let's take out the second pilot. Let the bloody computer fly it.

The chattering bloody classes, or what I call the liberal Guardian readers, they're all buying SUVs to drive around London. I smile at these loons who drive their SUVs down to Sainsbury's and buy kiwi fruit, flown in from New Zealand for Christ sakes. They're the equivalent of environmental nuclear bombs!

We want to annoy the whenever we can. The best thing we can do with environmentalists is shoot them.