What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.

Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

There's no better tonic for other people's bad ideas, than to think for oneself.

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.