If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a new, improved version, the Gospel According to Trump. It reads: "I, Donald Trump, am God. Praise, worship, and adore Me as I do Myself. Then all shall be Great, as I am Great. The End."

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths?

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?

Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination.