If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.

Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!

Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon?

Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.

Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts."