If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.

These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.