Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?

Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed

These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.