Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast.

Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?