The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines.

Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.

Perhaps love doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the bumpy ride worthwhile and provides a glorious destination.

Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.

If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.