When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.

The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he sobbed

Love is either wholly folly, or fully holy.

What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast.

Donald Trump's hairpiece has reportedly narrowed its list of running partners down to Don King, Kramer, William Shatner, Dolly Parton and Phil Spector, and has no worries about being upstaged.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.