Epigrams delight us into wisdom.

C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away in sweatboxes, making his clothing lines.

Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?

Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair apparent.

Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will constitute the triumph of insanity over reason, except that none of the other Republican candidates make any sense either. Trump just makes them seem less crazy by comparison.

When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better.