If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You!

Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.

Abbesses' recesses are not for excesses!

The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he can't relate to other people.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?

Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them. But with his pixie-ish perm, Paul does not impress me as the gunslinger type. Rand Paul is the RuPaul of politics. He would do better to defend his right to carry an unregistered blow-dryer and curling irons.

Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.