Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent celebrity being berated, humiliated, then unceremoniously fired.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who.

Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God.

What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card.

It's not that every leaf must finally fall, it's just that we can never catch them all.

These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom.