Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution is to either put them in their proper place or get rid of them.

Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick.

Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off.

Life's saving graces are love, pleasure, laughter ... wisdom, it seems, is for the Hereafter.

Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo.

Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out.

Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people?