My big "double-aha" moment came while anchoring the national news at CBS News. It was at the height of the recession, and on top of the usual negative stories, my newscasts became full of especially heart wrenching stories of people losing their homes, jobs, and retirement savings. Starting the morning off like that could leave even the most optimistic person feeling helpless and hopeless. The lightning bolt came when we changed how we talked about the negative.

There is a compelling case showing us that we actually change people all the time. And when we fully realize this, we start to see how powerful we are to get others unstuck, see that their behavior matters, and start taking steps to create happiness and success in their lives.

People will often say "You can't change other people." My research shows this societal belief is not only dis-empowering, it is scientifically false.

I try to only vent when I really need to process something, and let the rest go.

My big "double-aha" moment came while anchoring the national news at CBS News. It was at the height of the recession, and on top of the usual negative stories, my newscasts became full of especially heart wrenching stories of people losing their homes, jobs, and retirement savings. Starting the morning off like that could leave even the most optimistic person feeling helpless and hopeless. The lightning bolt came when we changed how we talked about the negative.

If you want a particular behavior from someone else, try spotlighting those times when he or she is already doing it.

Too often we forget how powerful we are as individuals to shape how other people see the world. Each one of us constantly broadcasts to other people - whether consciously or unconsciously - verbally or non-verbally - and those messages influence their brain.