Your first name's white, your second is Hispanic, and your third belongs to a black. No wonder you don't know who you are.

It was so cold today that I saw a dog chasing a cat, and the dog was walking.

You'd better stop readin' and writin' and start hittin' !

I don't get upset over things I can control, because if I can control them there's no sense in getting upset. And I don't get upset over things I can't control, because if I can't control them there's no sense in getting upset.

Ain't no sense worrying about the things you got control over 'cause if you got control over 'em, ain't no sense worrying. Ain't no sense worrying about the things you got no control over 'cause if you got no control over 'em, ain't no sense worrying.

The first thing you do when you get out to center field is put up your finger and check the wind chill factor.

He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul.