It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

There were times when I was broke, when I was down in Florida and I had to go to cocktail parties for 500 bucks - to see the guy that used to be in pictures. I'm not ashamed of that. I've never done anything that I was ashamed of. I've done a lot of things I didn't mean to do.

When I open a refrigerator door and the light goes on, I want to perform.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.