My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.

I hear Jerry Falwell every Sunday here talking about the devil and Hollywood. . . . I'm gonna write him a letter. Hollywood wasn't built on filth and dirt - it was built on talent.

I don't pick the roles. Your agent gets a call for you and you go and they all get together, everybody has fun at the reading, and they say, "There's chemistry here." So that's how it happens.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

The film The Last Temptation of Christ, no matter what its defenders say, was a slap in the face to Christians everywhere.