I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

Meadowlark Lemon is one very clever man, unique and truly one of a kind.

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, of the Friars Club: Of all the roasts that I have produced for the Friars Club, this is the one that I am most excited about. Mickey is one of the Club's dearest friends, and we wanted to honor him in the way we know best.

If I ever complain to an agent about anything, he always has a pained look on his face, like, "How can you be so ungrateful? Why, Mick, I just named my yacht after you!"

Women liked me because I made them laugh.

The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.

I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years.