I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

The film The Last Temptation of Christ, no matter what its defenders say, was a slap in the face to Christians everywhere.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years.

When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.