I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

I just want to be a professional. I couldn't live without acting.

God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.

To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.

I don't regret anything I've ever done. I only wish I could have done more.

John Frances, Entertainment Chair, of the Friars Club: Of all the roasts that I have produced for the Friars Club, this is the one that I am most excited about. Mickey is one of the Club's dearest friends, and we wanted to honor him in the way we know best.