I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.

If I ever complain to an agent about anything, he always has a pained look on his face, like, "How can you be so ungrateful? Why, Mick, I just named my yacht after you!"

God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.

Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

I hear Jerry Falwell every Sunday here talking about the devil and Hollywood. . . . I'm gonna write him a letter. Hollywood wasn't built on filth and dirt - it was built on talent.