I'll never make another Hardy picture . . . I'm fed up with these dopey, insipid parts. How long can a guy play a jerk kid? I'm 27 years old. I've been divorced once and separated from my second wife. I have two boys of my own. I spent almost two years in the army. It's time Judge Hardy went out and bought me a double-breasted suit.

I've been short all my life. And if anyone wonders what my dying wish will be, they can stop wondering. That will be easy. I'll just tell them, 'I'll have a short bier.'

I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.

To those seniors, and especially elderly veterans like myself, I want to tell you this: You are not alone, and you having nothing to be ashamed of. If elder abuse happened to me, it can happen to anyone. I want you to know that you deserve better.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

Hollywood has unfortunately become a memory. It's nothing but a sign on the side of a hill.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.