I'll never make another Hardy picture . . . I'm fed up with these dopey, insipid parts. How long can a guy play a jerk kid? I'm 27 years old. I've been divorced once and separated from my second wife. I have two boys of my own. I spent almost two years in the army. It's time Judge Hardy went out and bought me a double-breasted suit.

I buy women shoes and they use them to walk away from me.

When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me.

Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

God bless the universe, God bless Japanese, Chinese, Indians, all of them and let's have peace.

Women liked me because I made them laugh.