John Frances, Entertainment Chair, of the Friars Club: Of all the roasts that I have produced for the Friars Club, this is the one that I am most excited about. Mickey is one of the Club's dearest friends, and we wanted to honor him in the way we know best.

I'm 74 but I feel like I'm 35. And it isn't work. You know what it is? It's fun, absolute fun. I don't know many people who are fortunate enough to be in a business like that.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

Look, I come from vaudeville, I come from burlesque, I come from heartaches, I come from sadness, I come from gladness, I come from work and sweat and respect for the craft.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.