Had I been brighter, the ladies been gentler, the Scotch been weaker, had the gods been kinder, had the dice been hotter, this could have been a one-sentence story: Once upon a time I lived happily ever after.

You always pass failure on the way to success.

I keep going because if you stop, you stop. Why retire? Inspire.

Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.

When I was 19 years old, I was the number one star of the world for two years. When I was 40, nobody wanted me.