I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years.

And that's the way I have always lived, for the laughs – today. N-O-W. No Other Way.

Clark Gable once said to me, "'Acting school?' [If you go,] I'll kill ya!"

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

Nowadays, it is fashionable for agents to be out. When you call them, they're always "out." It's in, you see, to be out. If they're in, they're out. So, they're always out. That way, they'll be in.

My marriage license reads, 'To whom it may concern,'

I don't pick the roles. Your agent gets a call for you and you go and they all get together, everybody has fun at the reading, and they say, "There's chemistry here." So that's how it happens.