The audience and I are friends. They allowed me to grow up with them. I've let them down several times. They've let me down several times. But we're all family.

Someone once asked me what I want on my epitaph when I pass away. Just the words 'I tried.' That's what this game of life is all about. Trying. There's the tryers, the criers, and the liars.

I've been coming back like a rubber ball for years.

I'll never make another Hardy picture . . . I'm fed up with these dopey, insipid parts. How long can a guy play a jerk kid? I'm 27 years old. I've been divorced once and separated from my second wife. I have two boys of my own. I spent almost two years in the army. It's time Judge Hardy went out and bought me a double-breasted suit.

It's confusing. I've had so many wives and so many children I don't know which house to go to first on Christmas.

I was a thirteen-year-old boy for thirty years.

I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern.